Saline River Chronicle

Pastime: A pastime of mischief: Rolling houses with toilet paper

Ah, those days of misspent of my youth:  And how some of these acts today do number me in age of me and my classmates.

This Pastime, now that Halloween approaches, will deal with some of the cases of innocent mischief that we all engaged in back when the fall equinox holiday approached each year.

We “rolled houses” or “wrapped houses” in rolls and rolls of white toilet paper.

By Maylon Rice
By Maylon Rice

Saline River Chronicle Freelance Feature Contributor

We also “soaped” a few car windows and even some downtown store windows.

Like I said, these were acts of misspent youth.

Just a little, simple impish mischief along the red brick streets of Warren now five decades ago.

The biggest act of “rolling” a house I will write about came also about “soaping” a teacher’s vehicle – but not with soap.

Like some of those old Dragnet true crime shows on CBS, “the names in this adventure will be changed and the circumstances altered to protect the innocent.”

Also, the legal statute of limitations of “black letter of the law,” in this case, I am assured, has expired.

But I am not wanting to call out fellow WHS classmates, these decades later. But that too, is oh, so tempting, to name my co-conspirators that cold, damp October night.

So, a group, of which I was a ring-leader, targeted a WH Junior/Senior High teacher’s house for toilet paper “rolling.”

As memory serves, we got the toilet paper from area gas stations, such as the Ride With Rose Station down near the Dairy Queen and then some area homes.

One enthusiastic female in our little clutch of mischievous imps was in more trouble a day or two later, when her mom found out there was no TP in the house, then she got in trouble for rolling the teachers’ home.

We all assembled in two cars/pickups creeping down the side street near the City Park with lights off to the targeted home. The teacher(s) husband and wife, were both gone from the domicile.

So, the toilet paper rolling began.

A pal of mine, who still remains nameless and blameless in this excursion, and I dropped by the Mad Butcher about closing time.

He bought some eggs and was grilled by the older female clerk about their potential use on this date near Halloween. 

Me, I bought 4 large 2-pound blocks of greasy cheap butter.

I hope you get the idea.

We lobbed some eggs as road signs and other various spots earlier in the evening. 

I saved the butter for the “rolling” at the teacher’s house.

We applied the butter, by hand, to the teacher’s truck which was parked in the front yard. The butter looked like soap when applied to the truck.

The “rolling” was with four young ladies we recruited. Three of us gents were well underway with the application of the butter, when the teacher’s arrived back home.

Almost caught in the act, we all laughed and scattered to the four winds.

Most all scrambled down the street and got into our hastily stashed vehicles. One or two, however, we caught by the teacher.

Some of those involved were identified. 

Some were not.

I got my dressing down on Monday afternoon when pulled out of class about the “butter job” to the prized truck.

The teacher was mad. I mean really mad.

I was guilty and he knew it.

About $10 was spent at the town’s only high-pressure car wash trying to get that greasy-sticky concoction come off the vehicle.

Memory serves me that most of us went back to the house, with yard brooms and rakes collecting the toilet paper on Monday afternoon for cleanup-up.

Two in our group were never fingered. Still today I think they owe me a favor for not ratting them out.

The former teacher had me and another guy hand wash the truck, that cold Monday afternoon. It was still greasy and smelling somewhat like rancid dairy 72 hours later.

But what a thrill. Sneaking across a darkened yard, throwing up rolls of toilet paper into a tree and seeing it stream downwards over the branch and spool out onto the yard.

Sometimes you get caught.

Other times you got away with the act.

A mischievous Pastime of another simpler era – but still it was harmless fun.

Even if you got caught and had to clean up your mess.

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